Skunked, Not Punked

The Tupac Shakur of Skunks.

Linky and I got sprayed in our driveway at 6:30 AM by a very bold skunk. This kicked off some dominoes.
1. Linky hose baths. I said, “It gets the soap on the skin or it gets the hose.” He got the hose anyway. Take that Dr. Lechter.
2. Mad scientist potion creating by me: Dawn, baking soda & apple cider vinegar (substitute for hydrogen peroxide). I was Internet warned it could explode if left too long.
3. Showering by me, meaning I had to skip my dance cardio class, which is sponsored today by a flavored water. I missed out at the very least on a branded towel.
4. A car wash because we all might as well be clean.
5. “Can I ask you a weird question? Do I smell like skunk?” to a man in the post office.
6. Arriving pre-opening at the organic, gluten free cafe for breakfast. “You’re here early!” said the owner. “I feel like a smoothie stalker.” Mostly because I am.
7. A purchase of a used copy of I Love Dick (it’s a novel AND an Amazon show. Get your mind out of the gutter) because at this point, it seems right in line with the day.
8. At 9:09 am. “What does your day hold?” Asks the smoothie dealer. “I’m literally ready for anything.”
Saddest Wheaten Ever.
I’m pretty good at spinning sh*t into gold. Like when I landed in a humid LA, I said, “My skin will be plumper and less wrinkly! Plus, no need for volumizing shampoo!”
But when the shaman who runs my weekly gemstone sound bath said the skunk spraying was to, “protect us,” my face scrunched in skepticism. It felt like running into the Tupac Shakur of skunks and my mind said, “Dat’s some bullshit.”
Saddest Wheaten too afraid to go outside.

But the shaman also told me about the labyrinth in Topanga, which marks an energy convergence of vortices from Mt Shasta, Sedona and Hawaii, I knew it was exactly where The Saddest Wheaten needed to go to get happy.

I honestly didn’t feel an energy shift but we were surrounded by dragon flies, which felt magical.
I mean, like so many dragonflies. I looked them up and their spiritual meaning is to follow your dreams. Like 25 swarmed us above the labyrinth so I’d say it was a sign.
Tree pose.
Bo Derek ain’t got nothing on him!
From here, we went to Linky’s favorite beach in Malibu and then I got him some bacon in Venice. He got lots of pets at Luv & Sunshine in Topanga and General Store in Venice. He had a pizzle (bull penis tendon. I know).
All is right in his world again.
And thus concludes Kerry & Linky’s Westside Adventure (aka Skunk? What Skunk? Journey to Forgetfulness).
But I’m gonna get that skunk sucker. Mark my written blog words.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *